The next big chunk of my Big Worth Energy work for the last three weeks was from the We Should All Be Millionaires Club (WSABM). 

While the Pathway is the daily tool that slowly addresses almost every single area of self-worth at different times, WSABM is a very specific tool to help me build up my self-worth when it comes to career and wealth. It’s a huge leap for me to even publicly admit that I’m *in* the Club and *want* to be a millionaire, because there’s so much past shame and embarrassment around wanting + going after big things and then feeling shamed and mocked for it by people who either don’t think I can make those things happen for myself and/or think that I shouldn’t even want the big things that I do. 

But I DO want big things, and I DO want to a millionaire, and I no longer give one single shit what anyone else thinks about that. And so, at the end of August I joined the Club, knowing that if anyone could help me get there, it was gonna be Rachel Rodgers and her working team of badass women. 

When I joined, I anticipated that I would get acquainted with the Club while I was still working on Fall National with Target and then I’d fully dive in when that project wrapped around the middle of September. Instead, I sort of half-assed my way through the Worthy workshop and waited it out until I hit the 30 day mark of my membership, when Glow Up - the workshop that was all about taking your business to the next level - opened up for me. I had my sights set on the $10K in 10 Days Challenge that was kicking off in November, and told myself that I would use October to fully immerse myself in Glow Up, and then use the $10K Challenge to really jump fully into growing my intuitive reading biz and finish 2020 out super strong. 

Except that’s not at all what happened! Instead, October ended up being a wash, and I decided that what I needed most was to use the $10K motivational push to launch this project instead. This wasn’t (and isn’t) a money-making initiative, I didn’t build a huge scalable offer around it, and I wasn’t using it to teach myself that I could make money on demand…but it WAS a way for me to take a big, audacious, put-myself-out-there, stop-wasting-time-getting-ready leap, which was a huge part of the Challenge and huge for me, personally. 

I tried doing an IG Purge Sale in conjunction with the $10K Challenge, thinking it would be a nifty way for me to close out a former side biz (Pop Rocks Vintage) whilst also making some extra dough…but that was a massive failure. It took SO much of my time and energy to organize and upload all of that stuff to my IG; I lost at least 10 followers during the Sale (which hurt a little extra because, before that happened, I was thisclose to hitting a benchmark); and out of my almost-700 followers, only one person bought something. This sad trombone of a sale brought up a lot of old stuff for me, mostly around old scarcity thought patterns: People don’t like buying from me; people don’t like supporting me; I’m just annoying people when I try to sell something; why is it so easy for this person or that person but so hard for me…

Which is all just mind trash. The truth is, I DO have a lot of friends who won’t go out of their way to share/Like/comment or support anything I do, no matter how important it is or how easy I make it for them. And I also have friends and followers who have enjoyed endless support from me - energetic, monetary, and even emotional - but who wouldn’t even make the effort to download one of my books when they were FREE.

And I used to take that personally. REALLY personally!! And I took it personally for a few days this time, too! But then I took it to the Club and talked it over with a couple of friends who are also helming their own things, and I realized that, well, fuck: No matter how fun or funny or cool or interesting I make a thing, those people are never going to be thosekinds of people. Lots of other people who are currently in my orbit are also never going to be those kinds of people. They didn’t follow me because they were hoping that someday I’d be selling a book they could buy or launching a reading biz they could support: They followed me because they’re either people from HS who hate-watch my stuff or they’re old blog readers who just want me to entertain them or they’re friends and acquaintances who feel like they have to follow me because that’s just what we do when it comes to social media. 

And all of that is fine! It’s totally, totally fine. NOW it’s fine. A few months ago? It would NOT have been fine! But that’s progress, right? A lot of stuff with this project might be a little slow-going - and we haven’t even started talking about metrics or measurements when it comes to figuring out if all this stuff is even working - but this kind of felt like my first big win! Instead of letting my disappointment spiral into a big-ass pity party, I felt annoyed for a day, vented to my pals on Marco Polo, took the next day off from doing anything with the IG Sale, and then quietly closed it out a couple days later and got back to focusing the bulk of my energy on this project. 

It was kind of a bummer to see all these other women in the Club making BANK with their businesses during the $10K Challenge, while I was like, “…but I’m making bank on my self-development!!!”, and I didn’t really come out of the Challenge feeling like I really gave it my all…but I also know that focusing primarily on this project was the right move for me.

Next time, though? I’m gonna fuckin’ KILL it. 

I’m still working my way through the Worthy workshop. It’s a LOT of workbook stuff (or, as they say in the Club, werkbook™) which I still don’t really love, plus it takes sooooo much time, which makes me loathe it even more. Yet I do have to admit that the workbook is doing what it’s supposed to be doing, which is forcing me to reflect on a lot of things that I would usually dismiss or ignore. Today was the first day of a two-week Time Study module, which should be interesting??? I hate tracking my time, because I also hate being confronted with the possibility of how much of it I’m probably wasting by scrolling through Tik Tok, and like with most things in my life, I would much prefer to live in my own ignorant bliss than have to face the consequences of my actions!!!

But I’m doing it. I’m going to keep moving through the Worthy workshop while I’m doing the Time Study, though, because I do have other things I want to launch this month and I’m hoping Glow Up can hold my hand through all that. Also, the Club is ex-pen-sive and your girl also needs to make enough money to keep me in pine scented candles and fantasy novels until the end of the holidays, so I’ve got work to do! 

Check out the next couple of posts for the weekly updates on the work I’ve been doing with the We Should All Be Millionaires Club and Noom, and if you’d like to become a member of the Big Worth Energy Super Secret Members-Only Club, where you get daily updates filled with way more deep and intimate details of this work, you can do so here!

That’s it for now! See you at the next post!

Your friend, etc.

AC