Amber L. Carter
Writer. Professional Intuitive. Pop Culture Obsessive.
rickastleydancing.gif

Blog

Posts in Bachelor Monday Rewind
[Bachelor Monday Rewind] 'The Bachelor' S17 E10: Finale...I'm Dumping You, But I Also Love You

Well, my friends, our amazing journey has come to an end on The Bachelor: Sean Loves Jesus, Texas, & You!

This will be a very special recap...I'll mostly just hit the high points, since last night I had to mix Advil with some wine so I could suffer through the pain of breaking my ass long enough to make it through the THREE HOURS of this season's Final Rose/After The Rose episode...so I don't really remember a lot of specific dialogue???

And was there a talking alligator that hopped up onto Sean's deck to give him advice during the deliberations? Was that real? And what about Barney coming back to sing the "I Love You" song after Sean gave Catherine the final rose? That was awesome! And then he gave them a ride to McDonalds on his back?! Talk about a twist on the ol' sunset/declarations of love that usually happen after the proposal!

So yeah, let's get to it, because I've only got two hours left of this last dose of pain meds, and then after that, this girl is hopping a sleepy train to codine-dream town.

More totally coherent points and intelligent choices after the jump! 

Read More
[Bachelor Monday Rewind] S17 E9: Overnight Dates...This Wasn't Just Fun & Games, You Guys

It's Overnight Dates, and the gang is all in Thailand for it, because why shouldn't those lucky fucks get to go to one of the more exotic and interesting places in the world, right?

Also, this is the part in the season where half the episode is comprised of flashback filler - Sean looks out on to the horizon and takes us back on the Amazing Journey that he's been on with each of the three remaining women. It's boring and I hate it - obviously if you're this far into the show, you should have some recollection and understanding of who these women are and why Sean likes them. If you don't...well. I'm sorry about your short-term memory loss, and I hope that you have someone to take care of you during this confusing time.

Read More
[Bachelor Monday Rewind] 'The Bachelor' S17 E8: Hometown Dates...Vindication Is Mine!

Welcome to this season's edition of Hometown Dates on The Bachelor: Sean Loves Jesus, Texas, and You! Let me just state for the record that I tend to find Hometown Dates to be the most boring episode of the entire Bachelor season.

And this one was no exception!

Find out about more stuff I'm right about after the jump! 

Read More
[Bachelor Monday Rewind] 'The Bachelor' S17 Episode 7: Welcome to St. Cry!

Welcome to Episode 7 of The Bachelor: Sean Loves Jesus, Texas, and You!

This week we find Sean and the girls on the tropical island of St. Cry Croix, where dates both boring and more boring happen among the bikinis and crying!

Ready? More after the jump!

Read More
[Bachelor Monday Rewind] 'The Bachelor' S17 E5: Love Lift Us Up Where We Don't Belong

Welcome to the first of the most dramatic/exciting/epic two-episode event yet of The Bachelor: Sean Loves Jesus, Texas, and You!

This week we're not only taken to new heights in love and drama, but also to new heights in helicopters and insanity. 

Strap in your seat belt after the jump! 

Read More
[Bachelor Monday Rewind] 'The Bachelor', S17 E4: A Slow Dance For No One

Welcome to the fourth episode of The Bachelor: Sean Loves Jesus, Texas, & You! 

Last night, mountains were climbed, the divide between Muslims and Christians got a little smaller thanks to quality reality programming, a Bachelor producer got fired for coming up with a horrible, horrible idea for a group date, and a redux of Pretty Woman turned out pretty much the exact opposite way of how the real story should turn out.

Ready to get beat down by love? Then make the jump once again into this amazing journey!

Read More
[Bachelor Monday Rewind] 'The Bachelor' S17 E3: It’s All Confetti & Bikinis Until Everyone Starts Crying!

There’s confetti. There’s kissing. There’s bikinis. There’s crying. There are necks that look like they were broken, but weren’t. There are cardinal rules that look like they were broken, and DEFINITELY were. There’s champagne on hotel rooftops, there’s champagne by a pool, and there’s champagne in an amusement park. And then there’s more crying.

It’s AWESOME.

Read More
[Bachelor Monday Rewind] 'The Bachelor' S17 E2: The Most Undramatic Rose Ceremony EVER!

Welcome to the second episode of The Bachelor: Sean Loves Jesus, Texas, and You! Thanks for joining us on this amazing journey, everybody.

On this part of The Amazing Journey, we are taken in a helicopter to a dare date…then to a photo shoot group date, and then we cap it off with a little champagne and hot tub action, and round it out with some roses.

Let’s review – helicopters, dare date, photo shoot group date, champagne and hot tubs…yep! This is The Bachelor.

Read More
[Bachelor Monday Rewind] 'The Bachelor' S17 E1: Sean Loves Jesus, Texas, & You!

Well, kids, it's that time of year again...time to pop open the white wine, fire up the hot tub, and crank up those unrealistic expectations of what real love looks, feels, and acts like!

The Bachelor is back!

This season, on The Bachelor: Sean Loves Jesus, Texas, & You, we'll be taking a journey into the heart of this Golden Texas Boy as we ask the question: Will Sean find true love? And do we care as much as we do about him taking off his shirt some more?

Read More
[Bachelor Monday Rewind] 'The Bachelor' S17 Intro: The Original Virgin Bachelor

If this show was about meeting someone whom you could see yourself dating for the next four years because you’re not quite ready to settle down yet, then…then nothing. None of us would f*cking watch that show. And also I’m going to start suing every single Bachelor and Bachelorette who does that to us, because that’s actually fraud and I didn’t just give you three hours out of my Monday nights for months just for you to take it slow.

Read More