Amber L. Carter
Writer. Professional Intuitive. Pop Culture Obsessive.
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STRANGER THINGS OFFICIALLY LICENSED LUNCHBOX FOR THE HOT LUNCH KID WHOSE MOM NEVER LOVED Them

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So all you ever wanted as a kid was to be one of those “cold lunch” kids, because that also meant that you got to carry a cool lunchbox to school. Every time you went to a store, you’d stare longingly at the lunchboxes featuring E.T., Star Wars, My Little Pony, Rainbow Bright, He-Man & She-Ra, and any other number of your favorite cartoons and TV shows. Those weren’t just lunchboxes…they were signals of your identity! A kid swinging a CHiPS lunchbox told you everything you needed to know about him!

For one, it told you that their moms loved them a whole lot more, as evidenced by the snack-sized bags of chips and mini Snickers and love notes that the moms of the cold lunch kids would pack into their lunches. What kind of life was that? You used to wonder. A life where your mom actually packed you a lunch every night or every morning, and thought about what would make you happy, what would make you smile as soon as you opened that brown paper bag or lunch box. “I want my kid to be cool,” she’d probably think, as she trimmed your PB&J with a Dinosaur cookie cut-out, and then popped in a full-sized candy bar, just to give you - and her - a few extra popularity points at the lunch table. Man, having a mom like that would be great, huh? Like…a mom who spent time thinking about you, and doing stuff for you, and went out of her way to make you feel special. What a life!

But instead, you had to stand in an unbearably long line every day, waiting for that gross hot lunch with all the other kids whose moms obviously loved them way less than the cold lunch moms. The only highlight of hot lunch was when it was Pizza Day, and even back then you were pretty sure it was going to give you cancer when you grew up, but who really cared, right, because it’s not like you had a mom who loved you enough to pack a healthy, nutritious, non-processed lunch, yeah? She didn’t even care enough about you to shill out the extra 5 cents each day it cost to get a chocolate milk! WHY DID SHE EVEN HAVE YOU, HUH, IF SHE NEVER EVEN WANTED TO MAKE LUNCHES FOR YOU?! 

But now you’re an adult, and you get to decide for yourself whether or not you get to bring a cold lunch or get a hot lunch at work. And you know what, buddy? You’re still a cold lunch kid, through and through! Only now, instead of waiting on that deadbeat mom of yours to brighten your day with sweet surprises, now you’re the one who does it! Which is maybe kind of weird, but we all gotta do our own things just to get through life! 

And that all starts with the perfect lunchbox. Take, for instance, this brand new Target Exclusive + Netflix officially licensed limited edition STRANGER THINGS Lunch Box! This metal lunch box features a screenshot from the show, and has plenty of room to pack a nutritious-yet-fun lunch to show yourself that you love…yourself. You could even pack a whole bunch of Eggos in it to take with you when you venture into the Upside Down, which has nothing to do with the rest of this description, but if I don’t mention it here, inevitably someone will message me and be like, “Hahaha, you should’ve said something about Eggos because it’s Stranger Things and Eleven likes Eggos hahaha” and then I’d have to write back something like “your mom likes Eggos” therefore proving THAT IT ALL COMES BACK TO OUR MOMS, YOU GUYS. 

So anyway, buy this lunchbox!