Gonna live like tomorrow never comes
It pains me to quote a Zac Brown Band song, but I guess that's also a pretty good indication of where we're at right now
I haven’t been feeling well the last handful of days. It started with just not feeling good, if you know what I mean - like mentally heavy. Then on Friday I could feel myself getting progressively more sick; yesterday I didn’t feel sick, but I woke up with a headache and was so sluggish I literally had to take three naps. And then of course today I don’t feel great because Daylight Savings Time ripped an hour of my precious sleep away from me, and Ainsley is on a very strict body clock that I apparently ALSO have to adhere to.
But it also feels like more than just not great sleep, y’know? Like, I’m trying so hard to take care of myself while also trying to Live with a capital L, and it is so frustrating when my body just will not cooperate.
I will admit that I am terrified about what’s happening out in the world and on the home front. My entire being hurts for all the innocent people in Iran who just want to live their lives and yet are once again subjected to constant terror and violence thanks to male psychopaths who’ve cheated their way into unchecked power. I feel rage for the soldiers whose lives are now also at risk, and my heart also breaks for their families, who have to simply watch as our president and this administration callously treats their loved ones’ lives as expendable, and not even worth taking off their dumb fucking hat for during a dignified transfer.
I also feel like a false flag attack is imminent; the more that comes out per the Files and the more pushback this admin gets for all the wars they’re starting (and losing - it’s gonna be a wild day when most of America wakes up to the fact that our military is actually pretty fcking bad at fighting wars. We haven’t won a single one since WWII, and no matter what American Exceptionalism tries to teach us, that wasn’t won just because of us), the more a false flag attack on American soil feels like a certainty. When you look at the (likely fake) map of “sleeper cells” being circulated online and on the news, it’s not a coincidence, at least to me, that they’re all supposedly in big Blue cities. Someone on Threads last night was talking about false flags and asked, “when do you think the next 9/11 is gonna happen” and I immediately replied with July 4th. Choosing September 11 to match our emergency code wasn’t a mistake; and this year’s July 4th is the US’s 250th anniversary. If you’re an astrology girlie, then you also already know that the skies predict something not just monumental for that date, but world-changing.
And like, my body is terrified, but my mind is more, “well, in the end, no one is getting out of here alive, anyway - so let’s fcking enjoy this ride while we still can!” It’s the only way I can find optimism in what feels like the biggest pessimistic hellscape I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life, y’know? You know that billion dollar date question, the “what would you do if you knew you only had 6 months live”, and you answer it and then you’re like, “so why am I not doing that NOW?” Because the truth is, I only wanna be here for a good time, not a long time. I don’t wanna outlive anyone!! If I ever get to the point where it looks like my retirement is running out (and let’s be honest - WHAT retirement!) or some other catastrophic event that would leave me elderly and miserable, then baby, join me on either the biggest acid trip anyone has ever taken OR my personal rampage to off some pedophiles (maybe both? Trademarking that movie idea). If I get killed, then at least I get killed trying to deliver street justice to a pedo, and if I get caught, then at least in jail I’ll have free healthcare, three squares, a roof over my head, and social time with some interesting people!
(Also this isn’t an original idea by me - credit goes to my pal Chelsea)
But in order to live like these are my last days on earth, I need to have the ENERGY to LIVE, y’know? So this weekend I was like, “Is it my hormones? Am I going into early (😏) menopause? Do I need to cut down on dairy? Get really strict about my sleep hygiene?”
(notice how none of those wonderments included anything about exercising more😎)
And then I saw this:
And was like, Oh, OKAY! I’m just super in sync with the planet!!! Consider my fallen-by-the-wayside, shoddy self-care to be OFF the HOOK!
(To be fair, though, I have noticed that I tend to get a throbbing headache when The Schumann Resonance dips and I experience a very particular sort of ringing in my ears when it spikes (I don’t have tinnitus). Right now that could just be a coincidence - I’ve started to tracking it to see if it holds any actual weight.)
Anyway - while I admittedly toggle between “I should do this because it’s good for me and it will make me feel better in the long run” and “what’s even the point of doing this when the threat of a nuclear attack has never been higher”, I am trying to lean into things that will bolster my mental health and my physical energy. Which will - begrudgingly - include working out more. And let me tell you - every time I work out and then feel better for it, all that does is piss me TF off.
What are the cute little fun things you’re doing to keep your mental health up? Let’s have a lil’ sharing circle in the comments!
My true passion is ALSO short-selling unethical companies
Y’all.
Y’ALL.
I can’t stop thinking about - or aggressively recommending - season 4 of Industry, especially that finale (warning: linked article has spoilers). This show has always been dark - it’s sexy, it’s glamorous, it’s fun, but it is also d a r k - but the S4 finale literally took my breath away. I mean all of season 4 is just fantastic - that Dear Henryepisode??? Come ON!!! - but I feel like I was watching one of the most masterful “this person is now fully a monster” performances of my lifetime during that last scene between Yasmin and Harper after Yasmin takes Harper’s hand. And then that final scene of the finale, with Yasmin? Y’ALL!
I am trying to talk about it without giving away spoilers, but man oh man.
If you are not watching it yet, here’s my personal guide:
Watch maybe the first two or three episodes of the first season, just to establish where and who these people are. If you’re locked in after that, great - finish the season. Lots of people, including me, though the first few eps of season one were too slow. But I knew that there was more interesting stuff coming up in the second season, so I watched up to the 3rd ep and then skipped right over to S2, and I regret nothing. S2 is fantastic, S3 is even better, and S4 feels like a season where every single episode and almost every single main character performance is worth awards (I did skip the last half of S4E4, though - not to sound like a huge bitch, but much like how I’ve never had any interest in doing hard drugs, I also don’t have any interest in watching, hearing, or reading about people doing with hard drugs. I just find it endlessly boring).
Also, if you can, watch it at night, with the lights off. Much like my other aggressive recommendation of a prestige TV show, season 1 of The Girlfriend Experience, it’s the kind of show with moody interiors and cinematography that deserves your full movie-like attention.
Read, like, ANY book
In a MASTERFUL stroke of publishing timing, Lisa Rinna’s book came out this week, and I gotta tell ya - I enjoyed every single minute of it. It is such a fun, totally authentic, no-holds-barred ROMP.
The only thing I didn’t love was the way she kept tearing Garcelle down (I didn’t mind her tearing Sutton down, though, because after the way she treated Garcelle at last season’s reunion and the way she’s being the popular girl’s Gretchen Weiner this season is straight pissing me off), but you also gotta hand it to Rinna - she really does own everything.
I’m also reading Once Upon a Time by Elizabeth Beller, the book about Carolyn Bessette that was the inspiration for FX’s Love Story. Usually I’ll gobble down a book in a day or two, but this is the kind of read that, instead of devouring it, it’s become a special lil’ treat, the thing I read when I’m cozy in bed after an Everything Girl Shower and I have a luxurious two or three hour stretch before I need to go to sleep like a responsible adult. I do think that those of us who didn’t actually know Carolyn will never truly know her, but I also think that’s the magic of her, especially in this digital, Instagram, everyone-is-a-papparazzo, media-saturated age. Aside from her wedding video, there’s literally only one or two clips where we hear her actual voice!
That’s crazy, but also admittedly fascinating!
Anyway, loving the book so far.
“Oh shut up, Emma, it’s funny”
And now to end on what was a supreme revelation this week:
The Ladies of London: The New Reign 2-episode premiere on Thursday.
As a Ladies of London lover since the start, I was already bought in, especially when Made In Chelsea’s Mark-Francis Vandelli and THEE Lady Emma Thynn were announced as part of the new cast.
But we have truly never had such a top-tier or juicer cast, and we’ve also never had a stronger premiere for any show, new or rebooted. I’ll let Ben and Ronnie from Watch What Crappens sum it up best:
Ladies of London: The New Reign started after RHOBH, and what a show! They found some unique catty weirdos for this one and hooked us immediately. There’s some real nobility, money, and also not so subtle darkness in this affair. Our standout was Martha, who showed up with Bette Davis in All About Eve hair and a magpie as her best friend and roommate. What the Sonja Morgan is this? We’re all in. If you didn’t bother watching, change your mind. It’s going to be amazing.
The show is so fun and ridiculous and glamorous and also - like Ronnie and Ben said - more than a little dark and I ALREADY WANT TO LIVE INSIDE THIS SHOW AND NEVER LEAVE IT.
Anyway, lemme leave you with a favorite silly stupid vid from this past week, of which just feels relevant to these here newsletters!
Hope you had a great weekend!
-Amber