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TV & Movie Recaps

Posts in Pop Culture
The Hills S1 Recap: Intro + Meet the 1st Season Cast!

When The Hills first premiered on May 31, 2006, I was 27, and had just moved from Northern Wisconsin to Minneapolis, Minnesota, where I was renting a tiny bedroom in a South Minneapolis bungalow while I worked as a counselor for a maximum-security unit of male juvenile offenders. After losing the better part of my early twenties to lonely, dead-end stints in Iowa and Wisconsin, an intense, troubled romantic relationship that had ended in fatal tragedy, and the deep, dark maw of grief that had swallowed me whole afterward, moving to Minneapolis felt like a fresh beginning…a chance to finally start the kind of glittering, cosmopolitan life I had been putting on hold for so long.

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Khaki Wishes and Cookie Dreams: "Troop Beverly Hills" is Almost as Old as Your Dad's New Girlfriend!

The thing about Troop Beverly Hills is that every moment is just a joy…it’s written and shot so as to be a pure delight, and it delivers. Based on creator and producer Ava Ostern Fries' “true-to-life anecdotes” of leading her daughter’s area brownie troop, it features a beautiful, fashionable, plucky heroine, a handsome hunk of an estranged husband/dad, a troop of girls I could actually see myself being friends with (or whom might actually be nice to me while they gently turned down the offer of my friendship), some adult situations (which was my favorite kind of thing in a movie, second only to rich people stuff), and a campy romp into the lives of the Beverly Hills rich and famous.

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Beverly Hills, 90210: Hello & Goodbye

To me, Beverly Hills, 90210, is sunshine, blue skies, and palm trees; airy California houses with sandstone-colored walls in nice, quiet neighborhoods; the Louis Vuitton Chantilly purse; “All For Love” by Bryan Adams, Sting, and Rod Stewart; dreaming about moving out to sunny LA, buying a convertible, and working on movies like The Three Musketeers; wearing bodysuits with Guess jeans and mod headbands; going to bright, sprawling malls with sky lights; going to see Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves in the movie theater, crushing over Christian Slater, and spending a week of summer vacation waking up early just to sit in front of Vh1 all day and wait for them to play the music video for Bryan Adam’s “Everything I Do, I Do It For You”; dreaming about moving to the sunny South of France and buying a castle with Bryan Adams while he sings that song to you every night before you go to sleep; sporting L.A. Gear high tops, scrunchy white socks, polka-dot cotton bike shorts, and (shamefully) Hyper-Color t-shirts; smelling like Neutrogena, Sun-In, and Love’s Baby Soft (or Exclamation, if you wanted people to think you were experienced); and having endless, heated debates with your friends over who you wanted to be your boyfriend - Brandon or Dylan.

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A Very Carter Christmas: Hallmark's "Return To Christmas Creek"

Welcome to the A Very Carter Christmas version of Return To Christmas Creek!

Our adventure in schmaltz opens up by giving tribute to the true star of any RomCom, Christmas or otherwise: A bustling city full of people! This time it happens to be Chicago, as identified by a snowy Navy Pier and a cab driver yelling “LOU MALNATIS IS THE BEST DEEP DISH!” to a bunch of unsuspecting pedestrians standing outside Gino’s East.

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The Bachelorette S8 E10: Curaco is the perfect place to buy some pottery and propose, everybody!

Well, love lovers, last night was the last episode of this season of The Bachelorette, and with it, our very last recap of the season. What am I going to write about now?! Where am I going to get my weekly dose of unrealistic romantic settings and dramatic interactions that are more dumb than dramatic?! Huh? Where do broken hearts go? Do they find their way home?

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The Bachelorette S8 E9: Curacao Is The Perfect Place To Get Your Heart Broken, Everybody!

This week, Emily and her Rose Buds descend upon Curacao! 

Where THE FUCK is Curacao? Has anyone ever even heard of this place before? Everyone on The Bachelorette kept talking about it like, "Oh, yeah, of course, it's awesome to be here in Curacao" and everyone else in the entire world was like, "Where?! You're in Kalispell? Morocco? The mythical lands of Cure-A-Spell?" Turns out, Curacao (correctly pronounced "Cure-a-sow") is in the Caribbean and is a constitute of the Kingdom of the Netherlands.

And, surprise! They also paid The Bachelor Franchise to use this episode as a glorified tourist ad because obviously they also get that no one knows where the fuck this place is.

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The Bachelorette S8 E8: Hometowns Are The Perfect Place To Fall In Love, Everybody!

This week on The Bachelorette, we got to go to the hometown of each remaining Rose Bud (Lumpy Space Princess Chris, Jef With One F, Arie, and Sean) to meet their families and pretend-sweat it out over whether or not they’ll approve or Emily.

And yes, it was just as boring as it sounds.

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The Bachelorette S8 E7: Prague Is The Perfect Place To Fall In Love, Everybody!

Last night Emily and her Rose Buds descended on Prague in Czechoslovakia. Which makes me hate them all, because Prague is pretty much the city I want to go to above all other cities (I am available for hire, any corporate travel sponsors who might want a kicky blogger to visit towns for them and write non-boring reviews).

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The Bachelorette S8, E6: Dubirudkcioulskiciyick, Croatia Is The Perfect Place To Fall In Love, Everyone!

On this week’s episode of the Bachelorette, the crew went to a town called Dubrichoiolytickaloahik in Croatia. While I knew from reading books on vampires that Croatia is actually pretty beautiful, I bet the Bachelor team really threw an eye-opening curveball to most of America by showing them that Croatia isn’t a coal-dust-covered nuclear holocaust war zone.

That’s Romania, guys.

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